To forgiveness.

"A righteous man falleth seven times, and riseth again."

I stare at my hands. How many times must I walk through this vale of regret, of shame? When I know what the Lord has bidden me, only for my good? When I know? Why must a moment of unpreparedness find me off-guard and level me to the ground?

I dare not raise my eyes. I feel empty: empty of any good thing. Unworthy to stand in the sight of a Holy God. And with it comes that old voice...

"You can't come to Him now..."
"You ignored His caution...."
"You slighted His Spirit..."
"It may already be too late..."
"What if forgiveness is not extended...?"

These thoughts, along with a hundred others, pummelling into my sorrowful heart the shame, the ignominy; words like "unpardonable sin," "fallen again," and "you'll never learn" run riot.

In my heart I know. I know my Savior loves me, though I have failed Him again.

But suppose the time for mercy is past?

The thought crosses my mind as I sit, half-whispering, half-attempting to shut out the voice of doubt and despair: my Bible sits beside me. It's a rare occurance to have it with me at the office. But there it sits.

In my reading of other inspiration, I've not picked it up in awhile. And so I do now, trembling in my heart. I request with earnestness for a promise: shame in my heart, I request that the Make of my soul show me something to quiet the voice of doubt, that voice that persists in telling me that forgiveness is not to be found this time.

Isaiah speaks. God speaks.

"Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Thee; because he trusteth in Thee. Trust ye in the Lord for ever, for in the Lord JEHOVAH is everlasting strength...Let him take hold of My strength, that He may make peace with Me; and he shall make peace with Me....By this therefore shall the iniquity of Jacob be cleansed."

The iniquity cleansed. I began to pray.

I requested peace--and He promised: if I will keep my mind fixed on Him.

But with it, I must also trust: and so I asked for trust.

With trusting, He promised He has everlasting strength.

I asked for strength, and He said, "Take hold of My strength...and you shall make peace with Me."

Peace. To trust. To strength. To peace.

To forgiveness.

Wonderful, merciful Savior.