Unconventional Childhood

I've been digging lately. Not in the traditional sense; as in, dirt. More like a very unconventional sense; as in, the past.

I've discovered that there was something I had a long time ago that I don't anymore. I'm not sure what it is, really.

But suddenly, as I hear these songs that I grew up with; as I see the pictures; and too, as I'm feeling the unique pressures that being 20 holds... I want it back. The innocence, the laughter, the sweetness and magic of my childhood.

Jesus said that we were to be like little children if we wanted to come at Heaven. Heaven is my ultimate goal--but in my walk of life, He moves me further away from conventional childhood every day. And in some ways, that's okay.

But I'm beginning to see more and more that He wants to kindle an unconventional childhood in me: an everlasting, childlike trust, sweetness, innocence and dependence on Him. I'm learning; albeit, a bit slowly.

I miss the little girl.

But I'm praying for the day when she will be a woman after God's own heart.

In an unconventional sort of way.