Mini-Me

Gravel crunched, headlights faded and the inner-car lights got switched off. A door softly opened and shut, footsteps tip-toed to the door and a key turned in the lock. The footsteps paused inside, and then after a moment bare feet stole quietly to the living room. Another pause, then to the closed bedroom door--and then silence.

I peeked into the bedroom, knowing full well my mom and siblings had no idea I was here. My mom sat on the bench, reading a bedtime story to Lily. She thought I was Haley and didn't even bother to look up when I peeked in. But Lily did.

I love sneaking home. I love surprises--they're just too much fun. However, my brief trip home this time brought some interesting soul-searching with it.

You see, though I don't live at home anymore, I still do.

I never would've realized it, actually. But recently Jessica bequeathed her old tape player to me; and I, with much joy, went into my room to listen to the 5 or so tapes I've had hanging around and couldn't listen to. And that's when I ran across the old tape of me.

It's me, my mom, and Haley singing. My mom had the foresight to record us on an old cassette recorder, and memories live on to this day in those audio clips. It brings back a flood of what I used to be, how I used to be...and what I became, what I was; and, consequently, what I now am not. It was fascinating.

Listening to myself talk when I was 6 years old is highly entertaining. My voice has changed alot since then. But when I went home last weekend, I heard myself talking again... only, my name is Lily Rose now.

She sounds just like me. She looks like I did when I was her age, with the exception of the dark hair I had. In so many ways, she is just like me...

And I cringe. Am I worth being "just like"? 

I can only hope and pray that this little "mini-me" will learn sooner the lessons I've had to learn as a teenager. 

And while she grows, I'm going to be listening. 

Because I've learned alot about myself from those old recordings.

And from her.