Never alone...

Tears choked me and blinded my eyes. Restless sobs welled up in my throat and my stomach twisted into an agonizing knot. My fists clenched, my chin trembled, and every muscle of my body screamed for me to run--away; anywhere but sit there and watch.

I knew I looked perfectly calm and sedate on the outside. Yet inside, the real me cringed and cried. Was I witnessing the death of someone dearly beloved to me?

No. I was alone.

Over-reaction. Total over-reaction. You're shaking your head now, wondering why you ever started reading this post in the first place. There she goes again...feeling sorry for herself. Blowing things way out of proportion.

You may be right.

But I may also be right.

I'm far less experienced than I wish I was. I know far less than I've tried to make myself believe in the past. And yet, I've seen what being alone can do to a person.

I've watched as people I knew and loved shed tears over being alone. Sobbed their hearts out; sometimes in my arms. I've watched tears roll down many a cheek---just because they were alone.

I've watched as others that I loved turned into furious monsters over just the thought of being left alone. I watched damage being inflicted on innocence because of someone's burning desire to not be left alone. They couldn't bear it; the thought of "alone" filled them with such terror and dread that they were ready to do anything to keep from being sentenced to that fate.

And I've watched still others, when left alone, retreat into shells and become impenetrable. I've watched them withdraw from everything...just because they felt alone. I've watched them lock themselves up inside; watched them throw the key away and dare anyone to try to break down the door. Some do--often it's in vain.

We're all afraid of being alone.

All of us.


Over the years, I myself have been guilty of every last one of the above-mentioned actions. I've hidden myself in a corner and cried...because I was alone. I've fought and inflicted damage on others...to avoid being alone. And I've withdrawn from the world; locked myself up and thrown the key away...to keep the pain of being alone at bay. I've pretended, faked, feigned and remained impassive to retain my image, yet the truth still remains.

I hate being alone.

It continues to happen, though.

And while it hurts, there's got to be a reason for it.

Being in pain is one of the best places to be. Really, I said that. You can be in no better place than pain, for pain turns your heart Heavenward. To God. To the One who loves you more than life itself. To the One who gave more than life itself to allow you the mere chance at eternal life and eternal bliss.

No pain. No sorrow. No tears of agony.

No more "alone."

Yet, Heaven isn't here or now. It's still coming: a not-so-distant, but seemingly receding reality. We still cry, we still hurt, we still feel pain.

And we are still left alone.

But are we really?

Am I really alone? Are you really alone?

Look up... Look up. To the horizon. Look at the sky. Hear the birds singing. Feel the gentle breeze in your face, and the warm glow of the sunshine. Soak it all in...

Now tell me, with a God out there who created all of that for you...are you really alone?

Friend, you're never alone. Never. Though no one on Earth stands by your side: though no one agrees with you, though no one understands, though everyone refuses to see how you see... You are never...never... alone.

Ever.

God is there. If you look for Him.

And you will find Him. If you truly want to.

Warm summer sunshine, soft morning dew
the Earth is alive with wonder anew
Light falls around, beams shifting through
God's call is simple--it's from His heart to you.

Don't ever forget that no matter the test
No matter who loves you or who could care less
No matter if you stand alone in the world
No matter how many harsh insults are hurled
No matter the pain, or how alone you may be
You're never alone...
And if you're tempted to forget, just remember Me.

Take courage weary soul. The end is in sight.

You're never alone.