Goodbye

I can't think of anyone who's partial to that word. It's a painful word--and yet, it's also precious.

Painful, and precious? I think so. 

Saying goodbye means you're leaving someone; parting from them. And if you're close to someone, that can be heart-rending. However, saying goodbye also means that there's then the possibility of being able to say hello again--something that generally thrills us all. 

Personally, I've been fighting writing about this word for the last week. I've not had the courage to for some reason, and yet, somehow, I think I need to. "Goodbye" has been a regular part of my vocabulary for the last few years, and it's seemed to haunt me more incessantly lately. And, well, maybe there's a reason...then again, maybe not. 

How many things have you said goodbye to in your life? Friends, family, things, places? I know, for me, it would be summed up by two words: too many. We've all experienced a goodbye that's torn our hearts out...and possibly, we've experienced some that have elated us to regions beyond cloud nine. Whatever the case, goodbye is something we all know well.

Within the last two years, I have stood on life's pier and watched countless souls I loved sail away to lands afar--lands I couldn't travel to. Some to the lands of escape, some to lands of solitary wastelands, some to lands of romance, and still others to eternity itself. I've watched that ship carry away so many that honestly, I'm afraid whenever I see it coming into harbor. That fear rises up in me and threatens to engulf me with waves of icy dread. Then, it passes on without having done damage and I can breathe again...but sometimes, it stays, and I soon find myself waving again, tears streaming down my cheeks and seeming to freeze there as I turn to collect my broken heart from the pier and stumble away. Goodbye is hard.

Have you ever waved goodbye? Ever whispered goodbye? Ever called it? Has goodbye ever visited your heart and left you in shreds? ...don't worry. You aren't alone. 

Goodbye is probably so painful because we're afraid of being left alone. In a cruel, heartless and frigid world, we're terrified of being left alone. Alone, with nothing to cling to, no one to run to for comfort, no loving arms to shield us from the pain associated with life. We're afraid of being alone. 

That in itself proves to me this strange reality that I've only recently discovered. Inside each one of us, is a little child. Whoever you are, reading this right now, there is a little child in you--a small child crying for attention and love and the knowledge that you are wanted. Even if you already think you feel that way...the odds are that most of the people who will read this can identify with what I've just said. We're really only little kids inside...children lost in the dark, looking for a hand to hold, and trying to cling to anything, anything, to keep from being groundless and forsaken and abandoned in the blackness of night.

After I finally came to terms with the fact that really, inside, I am just a little child, I began to discover many things about myself. I began to understand why "goodbye" hurts me so much...why I've been an impenetrable fortress for so many years... I learned alot about myself just by admitting that I really am no fortress at all: I'm a prison, encasing inside a little girl who's afraid of venturing into the world for fear of being seen as weak and fragile. Inside, I'm afraid of not being able to take care of myself...and when so many have said goodbye and moved on, at times it's seemed like I would be left to fend entirely for myself. And that's a scary thought, even though it never has completely been my lot. 

How about you?

Is goodbye a terrible word for you? Are you afraid of being left alone? There's a hand in the darkness, if you'll reach out and take it. There's someone waiting to hear your voice call out His name, no matter how broken and trembling the call.... There's Someone wanting to be your everything... and He's just waiting for you to stumble His way, even if you can't see where you're going.... If you'll let Him, He'll come to you... He'll hold you close to His heart... And there is one place where you'll always be safe... and you'll never be alone.... 

He is the one Friend to whom you will never....never...have to say goodbye to....

Ever..........